HELLO, AGAIN — Josie Hearts

Well hello!!!! It’s actually after taking me a full hour to remember how to open this up to write a new post but I’M BACK and I have to say that the fast paced nature of Instagram stories made me do it! As much as I do enjoy it, I started to become a bit allergic in the run up to Christmas - found myself just tap, tap, tapping away, almost without even taking anything in. Finding it all just a little bit soulless, I know that I’m a part of that too but I just had a bit of a turn off. I also have a tendency to feel that I can’t be myself fully on Instagram, - this is my safe space, lol!

I thought you were meant to give less sh*ts as you get older? I feel I’m going in the other direction, always wondering how I come across. It does cause a little bit of nervousness in the pit of your stomach but I do love the bit of craic and I have to tell myself to cop on and get over myself. Nobody cares about me, HA!

**9 years ago!!! The Micheal Kors watch era in full swing!**

So anyway, my website had closed down due to a change of bank and a lapsed subscription, I actually wasn’t even going to bother renewing it again but I somehow started to gravitate towards it… in a way to slow things down and move at my own pace a little bit more.

I created this website before Instagram was a creative thing for me, it was long before stories and reels were there and I thought that I’d do all my hair advice, fashion I like, houses I love, food I eat here and write about all sort of things. I’ve collected magazines for most of my adult life and worked on editorials for years - I have an addiction to them and this was meant to be my very own one. I was pregnant on Tom when it went live and in my naivety I thought I could do this alongside weddings and manage to stay consistent with it all but it turns out, for a woman, I’m not so good at multi-tasking :-) I usually prefer to do one thing and do that one thing well before moving on to another…

I think that’s why my job satisfaction has wained in the last few years. I’m busy at home tending to three (perennially sick) children *eye roll* and in the back of my mind I have this permanent anxiety about not getting back to clients, neglecting emails and preparing all week to be gone from the house Thursday through Monday. Then when I’m working the feeling of guilt and missing out takes over, especially as Tom gets bigger and I’m missing his little matches etc. Working at weddings is actually a gorgeous job, you get to hang out with sound people on their happiest day, sound make-up artists, eat pastries AND have hot coffee (imagine!!!). So basically it is all great but at the moment it feels like a lot because my alarm generally goes off at 4.30am on wedding days and after three in a row, followed by really long trial days, then ALL the admin, it can take a few days to come right. It’s not like years ago when I’d come home and have a little nap. Now I’ve to come home and get a dinner and do all the other jobs! So I’m taking a tiny step back this year and have taken a just small number of weddings but have decided to release dates as I go so that I’m not booking miles ahead and then missing out on important events at home. It’s a good balance for me and some things are more important than money.

**Tom Toms first day in our little apartment on Crow Street.**

I really do feel my brain fog has been cleared a bit in the last few weeks and I can start to re-evaluate what I want to do with this short life of mine. I’ve purchased an online curtain making course and I’m starting a sewing course with my sis. I’m thinking this is more for personal use as a hobby. I’m also re visiting an idea for a business I had when I was expecting Tom, 8 long years ago. We’ll see, lol.

ANYWAY! I really hope to do a bit more here and hopefully I won’t bore you all to tears. My next post is about our Summer holiday. We weren’t going to go but after weeks of hanging out on Airbnb and Ryanair, we took the plunge. We need it, the last holiday was 2017. The house can wait!!!

J x